Thursday, December 31, 2015

Nine things I have learned in my nine years of sobriety

While most people are staying up all night tonight getting wasted and kissing random strangers when the clock strikes twelve I am in quiet inward reflection, on my couch at home- where I have been for the last nine years. I truly hit rock bottom nine years ago-- with a tumultuous drive out to a trance party two days before New Years’s being the grand finale of my rapid downward spiral-- I can’t help but ponder on how typical of my dramatic personality it is that I would choose this has a recovery anniversary. 

So here I am, clean for nine years. In fact I have not used for 3285 days or 78840 hours my nerds.

Like all addicts, there have been days when I've felt secure with my sobriety, and there have also been many days when I've survived from minute to minute questioning my very existence.
In honour of my nine years of sobriety and the turning over of a new calendar page, instead of spending too much time on resolutions, I would prefer to look at how far I have come. 

Here are the nine things I have learned during my nine years of sobriety:

1. I am an addict and that’s okay

I firmly believe that some people are just born with an "addictive personality."  This is my curse and also my super power.  This addictive personality can be harnessed and put to good use. For the longest time I thought I couldn’t feel the same passion I felt for drugs for anything else, but then I discovered business, PR, writing – the kind I was finally getting paid for. I found boxing, MMA and Jiu- Jitsu and I found selfless relationships in being a mother and a wife.

 2. Party Friends Are NOT Real Friends

You know,  friends you have when the booze and drugs are flowing, especially when you’re buying- which I did a lot! Everyone wants to hang with the party girl bur as soon as I stopped partying, I stopped seeing those “friends”. I was lonely for a long time and bitter and sad, mourning the loss of friends. In time I realized that these friends were never friends at all and I was actually gifted a much-needed detox in my life. Real friends are there for you no matter what. They don’t abandon you in times of need, they embrace you. Sure, I lost a ton of friends during this time in my life, but I gained way more by holding onto the friendships that contained more value. Quality over quantity.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Another Bipolar Rant...

I spend the weekend in Somerset Hospital's Psych Ward- well actually my mom did, but as mental illness goes, it tends to effect the whole family- being me.

I had noticed her mood grow more and more manic during the course of last week until culminating on Wednesday with the usual hysteria from the neighbors resulting in a police visit, a trip to the nearest hospital and enough sedative to knock a bull out.

 What was so odd to all is that she had been taking her meds with a dose that had been doubled just two months ago.

 Somerset Hospital on its own is enough to make a sane person crazy-With all its bureaucracy and useless admin they managed to lose my mom between ER and POA resulting in a two hour run around the flee infested corridors, my daughter in tow.

I eventually found my mom locked in a small room freaked out about being threatened with Valkenberg and witnessing and experiencing other abuses at the hands of nursing staff and patients alike.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Review: Anover Hair-Salon Hair, at Home

I love having salon quality hair as much as the next girl, but the busy salons filled with snotty hairstylists bickering between each other while I sit looking ridiculous with foil shooting out of my hair in all directions can miss me!

I could not think of a more painful and honestly less glamorous way to spend a morning.  I don’t have an audience while getting a facial or a bikini wax and quite frankly I prefer not to have one when getting my hair done as well.

I have tried doing my own hair or getting a hairdresser friend to do it, but it simply cannot compare to a salon experience.  In my bid to find a high quality salon hairdresser who can offer some kind of comfort and privacy, I stumbled across AnoverHair.

Owned by Revona Hendricks and nestled just a below Constantia, Anover Hair offers the Carlton or Frank Faudler  experience with none of the annoyances you get in a buzzing hair salon where your name is often forgotten or confused for the other brunette with two kids.

Revona is the most passionate hairstylist I have ever met and her love for her craft came through loud and clear while sitting in her chair. She is interested in building long relationships with her clients  and advises on the best steps to take for both style and health of hair with excellence and ease.
Anover hair is positioned in a quiet, residential area with ample parking and while she is a home based salon, her setup is on par with any commercial salon, but with the added personalized semi private factor which is such a bonus for me!

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Join me for Disney on Ice in Cape Town 8 July!

It's that time again, the time you trawl the web for things to do with your kids over the winter  holidays...Disney on Ice is back in Cape Town from 8 July which means at least one afternoon is guaranteed to go according to plan without any weather malfunctions.

This will be our third Disney on Ice experience and each year it really does seem to get better and better.

I am lucky enough to have a set of tickets to give away to one lucky  Cape Town reader!
Simply share this post with your friends on Facebook and Twitter and leave a comment on the blog to enter.

Winner announced on 2 July!  

Friday, May 8, 2015


There has been a lot of talk in the mommy blogging space about the current state of our nation. Much to my surprise these blogs, usually littered with tales of sleepless nights potty training mishaps have veered from this slightly and focused on the privileged, middle class topical decision of ‘do we stay or do we go.’

Now I am all for the protection of your family and am the first to admit that I would not hesitate to kill in order to protect my kids, but the events of the past few months will not lead me to pack up and move to a foreign country. I am South African and this is my country too.

Sure, my skin may be too pale for many to agree and yes I have heard the slurs that us white people should go back to our own countries, but it is a statement made in ignorance and if anything  connects us as South Africans it is that we are collectively very damn ignorant.

To a large degree I feel my mutli-culture/ race makeup makes me more connected to this rainbow nation than many in this country. If you can look past my pasty skin that has not seen a beach in quite some time, you will see a perfect product of colonialism. There is French, German, Lithuanian, Israeli and even some black ( yes indeed)  blood in this body.  Interracial and intercultural relations have been going on for a century in this country with most of us having a drop of European or a drop of African blood mixed in with whatever we call our race.

My family tree has had its roots in South Africa for at least 4 generations. I am proudly of this country and I am not going anywhere.  I am committed to being part of building this country and I love it, even with all its crime, corruption and power failures.

I haven’t traveled extensively, but the places I have visited are not free from their own issues. To my family in Lebanon and Israel, the crime here seems out of control. Yet the daily threats of car and mall bombs in Beirut are enough to keep me from moving close to family there. With natural disasters being common occurrences in Asia and brutality, poverty and profiling on a whole new level in the U.S, where would I really go that would make me feel safer? These countries that my fellow black South Africans say I should return to, in my case Germany and France I guess, don’t want me. I am not French or German enough for them and my half Lebanese children certainly don’t make the grade either.

I am grateful for what this country has afforded me and am going to hang around and make my small contribution to help make it a better place. I am very aware that while I do not consider myself privileged just because I am white, I am more privileged than the majority of the country and through paying my tax, providing jobs, volunteering my time and giving in charity, I am assisting in redistributing my privilege a little.

I have been ashamed of some of my country's actions over the years and am not in love with my President, but I am also very proud of how far we have come.  I have met some horrible, vile people in my 29 years in South Africa, but I have also come to know some of the most kind and loving people in this country as well.      

It is not peaches and rainbows here at all, but nowhere is. If I am to get a little spiritual for a moment, we are living in the end times and that means that anarchy and ‘evil ‘ will become more common globally. The grass is not greener on the other side, so it’s about time we all ‘man’ up and start contributing to this country’s growth instead of threatening to run every time something  bad happens- but hey that’s just my opinion.   


Monday, February 16, 2015

Win a New Baby Clicks Hamper with Paed IQ

As you know, I will be the Mrs of Ceremonies at this year's first Clicks & Paed IQ Baby Bootcamp taking place on 28 Feb at Fire & Ice Hotel.

 I am very excited to be part of this event and these two awesome brands. Who doesn't know and love  the great quality and prices that Clicks has to offer right? And Paed IQ, while a new kid on the block, should be on speed dial for every new parent.

They offer a 24/7 hotline to a pediatric nurse at just R89 per month. I can't tell you how much money and trips to the ER I would have save as a new mommy had Paed IQ''s Baby Line existed 4 years ago.
The comfort of knowing you can check in with a medical professional any time of the day or night, well you simply cannot put a price on that.

As we lead up to the awesome bootcamp that features speakers such as nutritionist Kath Megaw and nurse and midwife, Str Heather Wood, we are giving away this rocking Clicks Baby hamper!

it has everything you could possibly need to care for that bundle of joy in the first months.
Win simply by leaving me a comment. Tell me how old your baby is or how far preggies you are and what city you are in. (Who knows, maybe I will event throw in tickets to one of the events.)

Winner selected Friday, 20 Feb.